


Spike in Wonderland

by Titti



Series: Spike In Wonderland [1]
Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gender or Sex Swap, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-10-21
Updated: 2001-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 22:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike becomes a woman. Will he go back to being the Big Bad?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spike in Wonderland

**Part One**

Angel was driving back to Sunnydale. Buffy had called, Buffy was alive. No one had bothered to give him this little bit of news. Instead, he got a call asking for his help, no explanation, just a request: get here. So he was traveling back to Hellmouth.

He couldn't imagine what new evil had forced Buffy to call him. However, he was sure that it must be something big if, after failing to mention her return, she was calling him. When he asked her how long she just said: oh four months. Four months and he had been in the dark.

He finally arrived to Revello Drive. Buffy was sitting on the steps in front of her house.

"Hi, Angel. Thanks for coming."

She sounded tired, older. She was not the bright teen-ager he had loved, full of spark and energy.

"What is it, Buffy?"

"It's Spike. He's the only one that helped me when I came back and now I can't help him. He just sits there, not doing anything. I don't know what else to do for him. I thought maybe you... you could talk to him, getting him to act."

Angel was confused and hurt. She called him just to help Spike, her enemy, the vampire that had tortured him the last time they met. If Spike was suffering, then he must have done something stupid, like usual. However, he didn't want to upset his former girlfriend.

"I'll go look for him."

"Don't have to. He's staying with us. He's on the couch like he has been for the past week."

Angel wanted to scream, to kill, to hurt. Spike was living with Buffy, in her house. She trusted him with her life and her sister's. This must be one of his stupid plans.

"Let's go inside. I'll take care of Spike."

When he got to the living room, he found the entire Scooby gang sitting there, watching TV. A lump body was resting under a blanket, oblivious to the world.

"Hello, Dead Boy. Buffy, I thought we agreed not to involve anyone else."

Angel could feel the hate emanating from the brunette. Xander moved from the chair to the couch putting a hand on what looked to be Spike's shoulder who in turn just pulled that blanket a bit more. The other women moved also a little closer to Spike. He couldn't understand why they were being so protective. This was Spike, the Big Bad, the master vampire.

"Did you all lose your mind? You are coddling a killer."

"Unlike you, Dead Boy, he never killed one of us. He has helped us with a Goddess, he backed us up when Buffy was dead and helped her adjust after her resurrection. So don't you dare judge us. Actually, I think you should leave."

"Please, Xander. Spike won't talk to us, maybe he'll talk to Angel."

Buffy moved closer to the blonde on the couch. Angel thought it was ridiculous. They were all falling for whatever the young vampire had planned. He reached the couched and pulled that blanket. If he were human he would have fainted at the sight.

The vampire lying there was female and a very good looking one. Curled on his...her side, she looked dangerous and vulnerable at the same time. Tight black jeans riding low, leather high-heeled boots, a black tank top stopping right above that perfect belly button, stretched over ample breasts, showing off well toned biceps. Long and wavy honey blonde hair framed a delicate face with big blue eyes and thick black lashes.

Angel felt drawn. He moved closer, a hand brushing pale skin. A flinch, the only response. Angel couldn't move away. His hand was brushing the soft locks. Spike turned to face the other vampire and cinnamon eyes locked on blue ones.

With inhuman speed, the blonde was on the older vampire, her head buried in his neck. Angel wrapped his arms around a body so familiar, yet so new.

"I'm here, Spike. It'll be alright." Not really certain why he wanted to reassure the blonde. They hated each other. Whatever they had meant to one another had disappeared with the passing of time. But he couldn't help tighten his grip, wanting to blanket the voluptuous body, needing to shield her from everything and everyone.

Just as quickly as Spike had moved to his lap, she moved away. She couldn't rely on him, her sire. He had proven time and time again how untrustworthy he could be. She began pacing, her raw energy obvious to all present.

"Right then, you came, you saw, you can bloody leave now."

She didn't expect the gentle hand caressing her cheek, the puppy eyes staring at her intensely.

"Is that what you really want?"

She wanted to scream yes, get out of my unlife before you screw it up even more than it already is, but her body seemed to have other idea. Spike wanted to be held, wanted to feel safe in her sire's arms, under his protection.

"What happened?" he asked. Angel could feel the internal battle that Spike was going through and wanted to ease the tension as much as possible. He maneuvered the two of them toward the couch, subtly forcing Spike to sit next to him.

"Try to kill a demon, got pissed off and that's the result. How was I supposed to know that the sodding thing was an expert in mojo?"

"That's why we do research, Spike. It's not like we really like it."

"Boo fucking hoo Xan. I'm the one that ended up dickless, not you. So, shut the fuck up."

Buffy was smiling' at least her Spike was back, fighting and cursing. Yep, definitely Spike. Now if Tara and Willow would stop looking at him like a maraschino cherry, she would feel a little better.

"The problem is that you're a very good looking, dickless, chick, Spike. Oh Goddess, I can't believe...Tara, I didn't mean, you're beautiful, you know." 

"No, I know Willow. She is just...well...she's gorgeous. I know."

Angel could swear that the two witches were drooling after Spike. Not that he really blamed them, he had to check his own chin a few times to make sure. He was covering other parts further south with his coat, just in case anyone decided to look.

"Stop it, you two. Like I don't have enough problems with the men hitting on me."

Angel turned to stare at the blonde. There was something more to that story. The tension was back in that voice, so uniquely Spike, yet so different. The downcast eyes from everyone in the room was the clincher. "Anyone care to enlighten me. I mean I did make the trip, might as well know why?"

"I went to the Bronze. Some men decided that I looked good enough to eat. If Buffy hadn't been there..."

"And you didn't fight them...why, exactly?"

"The chip, you Poof. I can't fight humans, just demons."

Now Angel was pissed. Angry with those men for even trying to put their filthy hands on Spike, upset with Spike for putting himself in that position, annoyed with the slayerettes for not taking better care.

"Wait, let me get this straight. Can't fight humans and you people let him...her go out dressed like...like that. He...she...Spike looks like Faith, only with less clothes on. You're screaming fuck me hard, fuck me now. If those jeans were any tighter, they would burst. The waistline is so low that I can count your pubic hair. That shirt covers half of what it supposed to cover. And why the hell aren't you wearing a bra?"

"That underwire hurts like a bitch." The answer and the pout were so typically Spike that Angel couldn't help a chuckle.

"Gee, Dead Boy, Cordelia really rubbed off if you noticed all of that. Most guys just go 'gahhhh' when they see Spike."

Xander's words hit him harder than a sledgehammer. Angel had already memorized every line, every curve of this new body. He craved to touch it, to caress it. But it wasn't just physical. His childe needed him again, just like he had when he was a mere fledgling. His demon was screaming to have and protect Spike. And nowadays, his soul and his demon were more and more one single entity than the separates units that everyone liked to classify.

"You're coming home with me. Buffy has too much to deal with, without being your personal bodyguard. We'll find a way to get around that chip. Until then, you'll stay with me. "

Everyone turned to stare at the dark haired vampire. The tone had been so Angelus, only the accent was missing, which was a very good thing in Spike's opinion. The tiny slayer was the first to react. She cupped Spike's face and the love was evident in both.

"You don't have to go. I'll take care of you if you want to stay." A chaste kiss on the lips.

Angel wanted to be Buffy, wanted to be able to kiss Spike that way, he wanted to see that love reserved for him.

"He's right, Luv. You have school, a job, Dawn, the slaying. You can't do it all. I'll miss you, Pet." Another kiss. Deeper, rawer. Angel could see tongues slipping in or maybe he was imagining. The consequence was that he was growing hard just looking at the two blondes. 

"Get your stuff, Spike. We have to go now."

He really couldn't stay in this house. Seeing his ex-lover and his childe kissing had created too many unholy images in his head and he needed to get out to avoid jumping both of them.

"You can help me, wanker. I have my computer, the TV and the cable decoder in the basement."

Angel started going downstairs. 

Buffy stopped Spike."What do you plan to do?"

"Maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know."

They both laughed.

"Sounds like a well used line, Spike. Just be careful, Angel is nice but he's...unreliable. More the 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.' type, if you know what I mean."

"Try I'll see you next century. I know, Buffy. I know him."

"Just remember I'm here for you."

* * *

When they arrived at the Hyperion it was almost dawn. Angel felt drained. The silence in the car had been unnerving. Spike would just stare into space as if he had retreated into his own world again. Angel wanted to talk, to hold, to reassure the beautiful vampire, but he...she seemed so far away.

"You can sleep in my room for now. When we wake up we can get you a bed and you can pick any room you want."

Spike could feel butterflies in her stomach at the thought of sleeping in Angel's room. She needed the distance, she couldn't get sucked up by his charm. On the other hand, the notion of sleeping alone in this huge hotel gave her the creeps. Humans don't need to be invited in. "I'll take the room next to yours."

If Angel was surprised by the request, he didn't show it. Spike couldn't believe that he was so needy, but at this point, she already made a total idiot of herserlf in front of her sire.

When they got to the room, Spike went to the bathroom with her duffel back. When she came out, she could see the lust in Angel's eyes. Well covered, but still there. She smiled shyly but that seemed to increase the desire even more.

The Irish vampire was stunned. Spike was wearing a simple white t-shirt and a pair of boxer. The t-shirt was so tight that he could see her nipples pressing against the material. The boxer were worn low on the hips, just like Spike used to and the affect was just as sexy on this feminine body as it had been on the male version. That shy smile she gave him sent waves of pleasure straight to his groin. 

"I guess I'll take the couch. Goodnight, Angel."

"Goodnight, Spike"

The lights went out and an awkward silence engulfed the room. Angel wasn't sure what he wanted. He needed to stay away from Spike. For some reason, this new body had awaken the blood bond in him. The vicinity of the younger demon brought forth memories long repressed, but never forgotten. But what he needed to do wasn't what he wanted.

"Spike?"

"Yes?"

"You know the bed is big enough. I mean you can't be comfortable on that couch."

Spike moved quietly to the bed. She lay as far away as possible, which wasn't too difficult in the king size bed. She couldn't let herself get caught in the moment. Tomorrow, Angel would wake up and probably kick her out. However, in the morning hours, bodies unconsciously searched for each other until the two were lying together, legs intertwined, a masculine arm carelessly flung over the beautiful woman. 

This was the picture that greeted Cordelia when she went to check on Angel. The two vampires woke up abruptly, ready to strike until they realized where they were and who had woken them. They shyly moved away from each other. 

"Cordelia, it's not what it looks like. We'll be right down and I'll explain."

"Well, since you're not killing me, I guess you didn't go all groany on us." With that she left the room.

"Luv, how were you going to explain that statement to a normal girl?"

"Haven't had a normal girl alive and awake in my bed in 250 years. Get dressed. We have a lot of enlightening to do." Angel had hoped to break the news a little more gently. His friends had already dealt with the return of other family members and that hadn't gone too well. Cordelia's impromptu visit took that option away.

"Hello, again. I'm Cordelia."

"Hello, cheerleader, nice to see you again." Spike could never keep his mouth shut. 

"She sounds just like Spike. Is this a joke? Angel?"

"That's because she is Spike."

While warming some blood for the two of them, Angel started explaining what had happened, the chip, the demon. All of it. His colleagues didn't like the fact that Spike would be living with him, but at least they weren't staking her.

"Do you have cereals?" Spike wasn't really too concerned. She knew his sire wouldn't let them kill her. That was a privilege that he would keep for himself.

Cordelia pointed to a cabinet and Spike started rummaging until she found something she liked. She looked for a bowl and poured the blood in and dumped a cup of cocoa puffs. Then she moved near Angel and casually set between his legs on the narrow chair.

"That's disgusting, Spike."

"Chocolate and blood, an orgasmic experience."

Angel couldn't help following that spoon with his eyes. It was moving from the thick liquid to those velvety lips. He could see the pink tongue slipping out to prevent any blood for spilling, moving back him to savor the strange combination. He raised his hand mechanically to wipe the drop of blood tinting the corner of Spike's mouth. Brown eyes locked on blue ones. Spike took his finger in her mouth licking the blood off, slowly, sensually. The rest of the world forgotten. She could feel the erect member pushing against her back, she could smell the arousal, she could feel her own juices flowing. 

Somebody cleared his throat. It was enough to spoil the moment. Spike resumed her eating, while Angel began sipping from his cup again. However, one hand moved in front of the other body pulling them a little bit closer.

"You should go shopping with Cordelia. I'm sure she can do better than that lot in Sunnydale."

"Of course, I can. Especially when I am not the one paying for the stuff. So what does she need?"

"You'll better off asking what she doesn't need. She has what she is wearing now and what she had this morning."

"Hey, still here, you know. I have what I bloody need. Black jeans, black shirt and my duster. That has been my wardrobe since the seventies and I don't see why I need to change it just because I'm a woman."

"Oh, I don't know. Probably because those things don't cover enough, because I may actually want to take you out without you looking like a hooker, because bras should be mandatory for you. I can go on if you want. I am sure Cordy can find something you like, maybe red. You like red."

Angel was babbling, he felt like he turned into Willow when he spoke to Spike. But coverage was mandatory if he was going to live in close proximity with the blonde.

"I don't have money."

"Don't worry about it. It's my treat."

Spike turned and gave him a little peck on the cheek. Her nipples brushed on his arm and Angel was hard again. It was so necessary that they went shopping.

**Part Two**

"I'm so bored. No clients, no visions. I can't believe that I'm missing those visions. Come on, guys, let's go out tonight. It's better than sitting here waiting for me to fall on the floor because of excruciating pain." Cordelia sighed as she flipped her Cosmo.

Things had been extremely quiet at A.I. This had given the four human members the time to get to know Spike. Cordelia was probably the one who got closer. She missed the chance to do girlie stuff with another woman. Fred wasn't the best person for that; she was way too timid. But Spike was perfect, her quips always witty and to the point, she could take it as well as she could dish out. Of course, all her wit seemed to evaporate when Angel was around.

"I agree with the cheerleader. We should do something. Even Sunnydale wasn't as dead as this place."

Angel was already dreading what was to come. When Cordy and Spike agreed on something, it meant that they would bother the rest of the group until the two women got what they wanted. Was it a sign of weakness if he just said yes now, instead of waiting for a long hour of whining and pouting before saying yes anyway?

"We could go to Caritas," Angel suggested. At least, he would try and limit the damage.

"The hell we are. I've had enough of demons. Luv, can we just go somewhere normal? I kinda like people, even when I'm not draining them."

"She's right, not the draining part, but the normal. We never do anything undemony."

The Irish vampire could see that Wesley was already thinking about the possibility of going out. He seemed to be getting closer to Fred, but it was difficult to start anything when most discussions involved killing, curses and prophecies.

"Maybe, we should. It is good for all of us to have some down time." As he had predicted, Wesley was the first to capitulate. 

However, Angel had no doubt that he would be a quick second. Spike was already moving toward him, swaying those hips, batting those lashes. Why could a simple walk make him hard? By the time Spike was next to him brushing her body against him with the grace of a feline, he couldn't hide his erection from the other vampire.

"Fine, but you have to wear some of those new clothes I paid for. I still don't know why you bought them if you're not going to wear them."

"I bought them because you forced me to, but I'll wear something new tonight. Cordelia, come with me."

With her inhuman speed, she grabbed the other woman and dragged her upstairs so they could pick clothes. Spike enjoyed Cordy's friendship, but she was also unsure on all the female mysteries that she seemed to encounter in every day life so she relied on the young woman for advise. Going out with her sire counted as a big first time and Spike wanted to make sure that everything was perfect.

They worked on the outfit and the hair and the make up. Spike couldn't believe that she was wasting so much time for Angel. In the good old days she always had Dru for a good shag. Spike didn't really need to do anything special, maybe a nice virgin to drain once in a while, but clothes were never a problem in the past hundred years.

"Are you sure Princess? I mean, you know Angel tends to be a little possessive. You don't think it's too much?"

"Trust me, you look perfect. Just keep the duster on until we get to the club. Better visual impact."

"Okay, as long as you're sure."

When they got to the club, they picked a table in a corner near the bar where they could actually hear each other but still be close to the action. Cordelia nodded her way and Spike took it as a sign to get rid of the duster. The growl was immediate.

"And who picked that outfit?"

Angel was ready to rip both women in piece for daring to pick something so revealing. The blonde was wearing very tight and very sexy red leather pants. Angel wished that Spike would wear pants that at least reached her waistline, not those low riding pants that seemed to have an arrow pointing south. Her top was a white wrap around, covering her breast like a tight glove. Again her flat and lean stomach was in full view. A new growl escaped the older vampire. Spike's look was a clear 'I told you so' message to Cordelia who was oblivious to both vampires.

"I did. She looks great. I would have never thought that Spike would be the most fashionable of us all."

"When I asked you to pick clothes, I meant something that actually provides some coverage. Cordy, I can't believe you picked those things."

"Please Angel, like you know anything about fashion. Just relax."

Angel grabbed two chairs and pulled them together. Spike sat next to him silently. She knew she shouldn't have listened to Cordelia, Angel had shown already what he thought of her. She was his property, it was clear from the way he acted. Sure, he was aroused by her body, but he wanted nothing to do with her. He thought he owned her. Maybe this was his revenge for all that Spike had done in the past. 

Spike felt so empty. She told herself that she was staying because maybe Angel would really come through with a solution for the chip and Spike could be independent once again. She tried not to think about that. The Irish vampire really hadn't spoken about the chip. Spike focused on the music and the people present. 

"I'm going to dance. Do you want to come with me?" she asked her sire, hoping to smooth things over. When he refused, she moved to the dance floor by herself.

Spike didn't have to wait long before two men approached her. They started dancing around her, next to her, sandwiching her. Getting closer and closer to her. She was oblivious to her surrounding, moving to the beat, swaying her hips in time with the music. She felt two pair of hands lay on her body. She never opened her eyes. They could touch her, dance with her, it didn't make a difference.

The bodies got closer. She could feel an erection pressed against her arse, another one against her stomach. She just kept moving, dancing. Her hand went to the man in front of her and pushed him even closer, legs fitting together like a jigsaw puzzle. She needed the contact and at this point it didn't matter where it came from. Spike knew she was crying, but that didn't matter, here in the dark brightened only by the flashing psychedelic lights of the club.

"Get away from her."

The three moving bodies tensed at the same time, for different reasons. The men stared at Angel. The first instinct was to stake their claim, but the predatory look in the vampire's eyes made them back off quickly.

Angel grabbed the blonde by her neck and pushed her toward the table. He didn't say a word. He knew they would both regret anything he would say. Spike slumped down in her chair, fighting to stop the tears. The rest of the group was staring at the two, no one knew what to say. 

This was a totally different Angel. When he saw Spike dancing, his eyes had turned yellow and they could all feel the anger radiating from him.

"That was a bit too much, don't you think Angel?"

"Cordy, let me make this crystal clear for all of you. Spike is mine." He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. He wasn't really worried about the murderous glances his friends were sending his way, but he was worried about Spike. He could sense the blonde emotionally retreating from him. He really couldn't blame her. That's not what he meant, or maybe he did. He wanted Spike. 

Angelus had always been attracted to William, but nothing ever happened between the two. It was still the 19th century, and vampires or not, it was not the proper thing to do. The fact that his own sire would have killed them both was another incentive to stay away. The closeness between Drusilla and William was another obstacle. 

Angelus took his anger out on Spike, insulting him, humiliating him and punishing him whenever he had the chance.

Now that all those obstacles didn't exist anymore, Angel wanted to start what never was. He wished to tell her everything that was locked in his heart, but he couldn't seem to do or say the right thing around her. Their history was a heavy burden to surpass. Regardless of what Spike looked like, she was still Spike with all his memories.

Spike just withdrew in her own world once again. That's what she was now. A toy to amuse Angel when he felt like it. The sun was looking like the best solution. She couldn't survive on her own. She had done it after the chip, adjusting with great sacrifice; she didn't think she could do it again. The risks were a lot higher now and she didn't have the strength to start all over.

"Maybe we should go now. For some reason, this is not fun anymore." Cordelia was really upset with her friend. He was acting like a total jerk. She was the one that always supported him but this time he really messed up. The fact that she was becoming friends with Spike upset her even more.

"Fine. It's not like I was the one that insisted on going out."

The six left. Cordelia asked Gunn to drive her home, refusing to spend time with Angel. Wes took the opportunity to escort Fred home. While the two vampires returned to the Hyperion in complete silent, each lost in his own thought.

When Angel came down the next day, all of his friends pretended he wasn't there. Spike had locked herself in her room and still hadn't come out. Well, maybe she was still asleep, he tried to tell himself. When the phone rang, everyone pretended to be busy so it was up to him to answer it.

"Oh, hi, Buffy."

"Angel. I'm sorry. but I have PTA and I can't come to LA. tonight. I'll be there tomorrow. You know, it's unreasonable that you couldn't give her more time."

"Buffy, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on, Angel. I know when you make a decision you just do it, but you could at least have called me before you threw Spike out."

"Buffy, I didn't throw her out."

That's when the phone was ripped from his hand.

"Buffy, hi it's Cordy. He didn't throw her out. He acted like a total jerk, humiliated her in public and I guess Spike got tired of his bullshit. I'll ask her to come and stay with me until you can come and pick her up. Okay?"

"Fine, Cordelia. Please tell Spike I'm sorry and I'll be there tomorrow."

"See you then." She put the phone down and turned to her friend. "So what are you going to do, Angel? Buffy is coming to take Spike home with her tomorrow. Make a decision because if she goes back to Sunnydale, you're not going to see Spike again. And just for your information, I think you're being a dickhead."

The vampire was pacing around the hall. He couldn't believe that his childe had gone beyond his back and called Buffy. Then again, could he really blame her? Cordelia was right, he better do something now or Spike would be gone forever this time.

He raced upstairs. His first impulse was to barge in, but he realized that it wouldn't be the best way to start this. He had a lot of groveling to do if he was going convince Spike to stay. He knocked. "Spike, open up, please."

The blonde opened the door with her duffel bag in hand. "I guess Buffy got here. I left all the stuff in the closet. Cordelia should have the receipts, and you can get your money back. I'll pay you back for the outfit I wore last night."

Spike was all business. She couldn't afford to start a scene with Angel. She also didn't want to be in debt with him. She didn't want anything to do with him. He had proven to her that, soul or no soul, he was always the same bastard.

"Buffy isn't here. She called because she got tied up with Dawn and school. She'll be here tomorrow."

"So why are you here? Are you here to teach me a lesson for calling her? I may have a chip, but I can still kick your arse."

The blue eyes were darkened with anger. Spike was furious that Angel even dared speak to her after the way he treated her.

"I'm here to apologize. Cordelia says that I acted like a dickhead."

"And you need a 20 year old to tell you that. Then you're even worse that I thought. Just go away, Angel. I'll be gone tomorrow and you won't have to deal with me or my problems."

Spike tried to close the door on Angel, but the brunette stood his ground. 

Angel shook his head. For some reason, he always managed to say the wrong thing, but he still had to try. "I would like to talk to you. After I'm done, I'll leave you alone. Promise."

Spike didn't want to listen. She didn't want to be in the same room with him, but she doubted that she would be able to avoid him until the next day if he had decided that they needed to talk. But she'll be damned if she was going to make it easy for him.

"Fine." She sat on the bed and started looking at the Cosmo that Cordelia had given her. When Angel sat next to her and put a hand on her knee she pretended that he wasn't there. She was getting good at pretending.

"I'm sorry. I know I was a complete idiot, but I really don't know why I get this way around you."

Spike sneered. She was never one to keep quiet for long. "Nice try, but you know what? You're lying, Peaches. You act this way because you think of me as yours, to do what you like when you like it. I may have a different body, but I'm still me. I know you and I know what you're capable of. I remember the way you talked about your women, your childer, your family. Everything is based on its relation to you. Your soul hasn't changed you a bit. Your new obsession is your job, your redemption. I just can't understand what I am to you. Your family, your problem or just yours?"

Angel knew that Spike had gotten to the heart of the matter before he had even begun to understand the problem. She was right, of course. The demon and the soul mashed together when dealing with his family. He had been just as affected when Darla had come back. Even then he had acted irrationally. He let out a big sigh. 

"You're right. You're not an object and you're not mine. But I would still like to be here for you. Just give me another chance. Stay here another few days, if you think I'm still acting unreasonably then I'll drive you back myself."

"Are you really going to help me with the chip?"

Another sigh. "Yeah, I will. I'll help you even if you decide to leave tomorrow. I'll rather have you here though. Truth is, I think I have feeling for you. I haven't let myself feel anything since Buffy and I don't think I'm doing a good job dealing with it."

At that moment Spike wanted to thank all the unholy beings for giving her at least one small joy. Angel was acting like a total idiot because he liked her. That sounded so ridiculously immature but typically Angel.

"You're not the only one, Poof. I started having feelings for you over a century ago, but you didn't seem too interested, not with that bint of your sire around."

Angel lifted her chin and she was lost in the emotions contained in those brown eyes. "You know I couldn't love..."

"Please Angel, get a new line. You didn't love because it made you weak and you didn't want to be weak. It had nothing to do with being a vampire. I don't have a soul and I loved. I loved you, I loved Drusilla, I even loved the slayer. Crazy, but true. So, don't tell me that it's because you were a vampire. It's because you were you."

Once again Spike showed her deep understand of the other vampire. Angel wasn't sure why he never loved anyone, but the blonde was probably right. Emotions were a sign of weakness and the Scourge of Europe hated to appear weak.

"I can't really promise you much. I've had my soul for over a hundred years and the only time I fell in love was with Buffy. We know how well that went. I can only tell you that I'll try and we see where we go from there."

"If this is your big romantic speech, I'm not surprise you went all this time without a girl. It's depressing, you make it sound like a death sentence."

Angel started laughing. It was nice to have Spike back. The real Spike. The one that could cut him down with his wit and sarcasm, the one that didn't back off.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll take lessons from Cordy on how to woo a woman and you don't try to be something you're not. I like your personality, I like your quips, your taunts. You're annoying at times, but that's just who you are. Don't try to change for me and I'll try to change for you."

"Fine. Do we kiss and make up now?"

Spike's leer caught Angel off guard. He hadn't expected such an easy victory, even if a temporary one. However, he wasn't about to show it. He took the vampiress in his arms and kissed her gently. He kept kissing her and caressing her until all her anger had melted away. Only then the two vampires were able to really talk after a century of resentment and misunderstanding. 

Before going to bed alone, Spike called Buffy to let her know that she was going to stay in LA a little bit longer. 

**Part Three**

Days had gone by. Spike had become an integral part of A.I. pretty quickly. His vampire strength was always useful in their fights. She also proved to have a vast knowledge of demons, saving them hours of research.

Angel had managed to act normal, if he ever acted normal. No caveman's appearances were witnessed. He was still unsure how to deal with Spike. It was obvious that the blonde was attracted to him. She basically told him that she wanted him when she was still William the Bloody. 

Spike, on the other hand, was trying to speed things along. If Angel's relationship with Buffy was anything to go on, she doubted that the brunette would do anything in the next weeks, or months, or maybe years. Spike was not a patient vampire, regardless of gender.

Angel had finally got out of the shower after the latest fight that had left him cover in demon's blood and other disgusting internal parts. He was still high from the fight, but there was nothing to do. He put his boxers on and got ready for bed. Another lonely night with only his hand for company.

Spike could feel the adrenaline still pumping in her body. A spot of violence always did wonder for her libido. No matter what Cosmo said, a vibrator was not an acceptable substitute when she had a gorgeous and probably just as horny vampire in the next room. She was tired of waiting for him to take the first step. Dressed in a tank top and the shortest pair of short she owned, she went to see the other vampire. Time to use some of that Girl Power.

"Spike, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, Peaches. I couldn't sleep, and I thought we could watch some telly together. I brought popcorn and blood."

She laughed at the disgusted look on Angel's face. "Hey didn't say you have to eat them together. Although the popcorn stays really crunchy in warm blood."

She sat on the couch motioning for Angel to sit next to her. When he did, she moved closer. She rubbed herself against the almost naked brunette, trying to reach the remote. She could have asked him, but where was the fun in that? When she sensed Angel tense, she feigned ignorance. "Something wrong, Pet?"

That body pressed against his made him even hornier, if that was possible. The smell of cigarettes, blood and Chanel No. 5 was not something he was used to. He tried to keep his cool. When he turned around to answer, his face was inches away from the blonde. Spike licked her bottom lip and he wanted so much to do the same. 

Angel turned away brusquely and missed the smirk on Spike's face. "No, I'm fine. Let's just find something to watch."

Spike knew that the chances of finding a decent movie at 3 am were close to none. She began flipping through the channels until something caught her interest. "Peaches, do you think that's even comfortable? I mean she is upside down, how does the blood get to her pussy?"

She didn't think that vampires could chock. Obviously she was wrong. She was soon covered with the blood that Angel was drinking while the brunette was coughing. He grabbed the remote and quickly shot it off.

"Maybe you shouldn't watch that."

"Angel, Luv, I've been a vampire for 122 years. There isn't much that I haven't seen or done. You may be a little rusty at the 'let's get groiny' thing but I still remember."

Angel would have blushed if he could. Or maybe he did, because he felt on fire. It was so difficult to remember that the beautiful woman sitting next to him was an evil vampire with more than a century of experience. Spike had been living the high life while Angel was hiding in the sewer for most of the 20th century. 

"Spike, you came here to be protected from men and now you're talking like... like a hooker. I don't understand you."

"I came here because of men, human men, not vampires. And I'm talking exactly like what I am. I told you I have a different body but it's still me. Can't you bloody understand that? And now I have to wash this blood off unless you plan to lick it from my body."

Before she could get up, a cold tongue attacked her neck, moving to her collarbone, down to her breast, stopping at the edge of her tank top. She was panting now. Wanting that tongue to move down, to go further, a warm feeling between her legs proving this need. 

"Is this what you want?" 

She opened her eyes at the sultry voice. Cor, yes, that was what she had been looking for, but she needed more. She craved to feel Angel's hands on her body, his tongue bringing cool relief to her burning core, his teeth nibbling at her neck. 

She attacked his mouth, nibbling at his lower lip. Her tongue swept inside the cool mouth, tasting the coppery traces of the blood recently drank. Her hands started to move around that broad chest, pinching those small nubs, glowing at the moans she was eliciting. One hand traveled down rubbing the awakening member through the flimsy material.

"What do you want, Angel?"

Spike had asked something, but his mind didn't seem to process the words. He kept moaning, trusting his hips forward, creating more friction against that delicate hand. He couldn't stop. It had been way too long since he had a partner.

His demon wanted this too. Spike, the unruly vampire who had been a thorn to his side, was also the one he had longed to have but never did. Angelus wanted to ravish the blonde just like he wanted to do in the past, but now he was going to get the chance. For once, demon and soul were in perfect agreement.

Finally realizing that the wonderful attack had stopped, he opened his eyes and stared at the blue orbs full of love and hope.

"I asked you what you want."

Angel came out from his haze long enough to answer. "You, I want you."

This wasn't what she wanted to hear, but it was a start. She knew Angel didn't love her, but wanting her was enough, at least for now. She didn't have time to think before a hand cupped the back of her neck and pressed her against Angel's lips.

Strong hands were reaching the rim of her top, pushing it up slowly, touching every part of the newly exposed skin, stopping right under her breast, teasing her. Those lips moved to her neck and then her chest. Cold mouth moving down, cold hands moving up, but neither was touching her ample breasts, her already hardened nipples. 

"Please"

She couldn't talk anymore. She hoped Angel knew what she meant. His tongue embedded itself between the stretchy top and the flushed skin, moving closer to the desired goal. A pinch, a moan, and Spike couldn't think anymore. Another pinch, and she was ready to beg. She never felt so good.

Angel knew the blonde had been waiting a century for this and he was determined to make the wait worthwhile. He picked her up and laid her careful on his bed. The few garments they had on were quickly thrown on the floor. Angel couldn't help but stare at the beauty spread on the blue silk sheets. She was breathtaking. 

Spike was looking at the tall vampire through semi-closed lid. He was a work of art, defined muscles, angelic face, and a huge cock. She had never played with one, unless she counted his own, prior to the change. She had been never been with a man under any incarnation. Spike was fascinated by it. She moved to touch it. She timidly ran her fingers through its length. Angel was looking at her with such desire that she knew she was doing it right.

Her hands moved tentatively at first, her grip became firmer and surer. When the first drop of pre-cum appeared she couldn't help herself. Her tongue flickered over the slit and tasted his lover. 

Angel groaned. This was so intense and yet not enough. He wanted to grab her head and just fuck that mouth. It took all of his control to just stand there and give her control. That's when he felt those soft lips wrap around his cock.

Spike wanted to do this for Angel. She remembered how good it felt when his Dru would work him for hours, deep throating him until he was begging to cum. She tried to remember, to imitate. When she tried to take the huge cock into her mouth, she almost chocked.

"Spike?"

"Never done this, Luv. Looks easier than really is."

Angel chuckled. He never thought about the fact that this was really new to Spike.

"Come on, lie down. I think I still know how it's done."

Spike laughed while she was being kissed. Who knew that Angel had a sense of humor? She was glad that he was taking some control because she was really out of her depths here. She knew how to pleasure a woman, but a man was a different ballpark altogether.

Her thoughts were pleasurably interrupted when blunt teeth began nipping at her core. Now she knew why Darla wanted her talented boy in her bed every night. She wasn't sure whether it was all the teasing or his love for this man but she felt so close.

"Angel, please, I think, Cor yes, ARGHHHHH." Waves of pleasure ripped through her body. She propped herself on her elbow and looked at Angel who was still kneeling between her legs.

"That was..."

"Good?"

"Different, but good. Definitely good, better than good. It was perfect." She pulled the brunette on top of her and began kissing him. She could taste herself in his mouth. A new taste, new sensation, a new lover. For the first time since her change, she felt at peace. Then she felt the erection pressing against her stomach.

"I think there is still something we need to take care of." Kiss. "I want to feel you inside me." Another kiss. "I want you to spill yourself inside me." Kiss. "I want you to cum for me." More kisses.

Angel wanted nothing more than slam himself into Spike. He pushed two fingers inside the blonde making sure she was still wet enough. He positioned his cock against the virginal opening and looked at his lover. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, Pet."

He went in slowly, giving Spike the time to adjust to this new sensation. He saw her eyes go wide, heard the gasp and smelled the blood when he broke her maidenhead. He hated to make the blonde suffer, but his male ego exulted at that the thought that he was her first.

When he felt her relax, he began moving again, pushing in and out, slowly. She was so tight, encasing him with ecstatic pressure. He knew he wouldn't last long. His hand moved between their bodies and pinched her still sensitive clit. He played with the hardened nub, bringing new desire while he continued thrusting, increasing his tempo. He felt his sac tighten, but he didn't want to come, not yet.

"Come for me, baby. I want to feel you come."

They were both in game face. Angel sank his fangs on that elegant neck, while Spike mirrored his action. Feeling the call of blood was too much for the young vampire and Spike went over the edge once more. When her vaginal muscles clenched around him, a million colors exploded and he sent spurts of deed semen inside the welcoming body of his lover.

"Good?"

"Yes, Spike. "

"Not perfect, right? I really don't want to wake up with Angelus."

"I don't think that's a problem. My soul and my demon want you. There is no battle, no conflict, no Angelus. You can sleep safely."

* * *

"Spike. Spike. Wake up. Spike."

"What? Let me sleep."

"Wake up, NOW."

The blonde opened her eyes and felt different.

"Bloody hell." A sigh, not sure if from relief or regret. "I'm tired of going to sleep and waking up with a new body. Not that I mind, but how did I become a man again?"

The two vampires looked at each other, not really sure what to say. Spike was Spike again, in all his manly glory and with a morning erection to prove it.

"I'll need some of your clothes until I can get to mine." He was going through the motions again. Another change, new clothes, a lonely existence once again. Angel was Mr. Heterosexual, he wouldn't want anything to do with the male version of Spike. 

"Yeah, take what you need." They had just found each other and now they were going to be separated again. Spike would never stay with him now. Did he even want to? He never had a male lover.

"I'll be in the shower, mate." Going back to the old nicknames, Spike was hoping to mask the sadness he was feeling.

Angel didn't have time to analyze what he was feeling when the knock on the door brought him out of his reverie. He made sure he was covered under the sheets when Cordelia came in.

"Angel, Willow called. They have some information on Spike's situation. They found out what will break the spell."

Spike heard the ex-cheerleader come in and waited in the bathroom, listening to the conversation. It was his unlife so he felt no qualms about eavesdropping. 

Angel wasn't sure whether he should laugh or cry. They really didn't need the information now, sex seemed to do the trick with most spells. He asked the question nevertheless. "Yeah? And what would that be?"

"Love. He needs to find love."

It couldn't be. He really didn't love Spike. He wanted her, he had feelings, but love. They must be wrong. "Are you sure Cordy?"

"Yep, Willow said that only true love would break the spell."

Spike came shyly out of the bathroom wearing only a pair of boxers. "Are you sure that's what Red said? No mistakes, no bloody doubts."

The smile Cordelia gave him showed the genuine affection she felt for him.

"I guess you already found love. And no, no doubts, Willow was adamant about it. I'll leave you two alone, now."

Spike sat back on the bed, not really looking at the older vampire. "So?"

"Yeah?"

"So, you love me."

"Guess I do."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I didn't even know it. Takes me a while to figure these things out."

"I should say. After a hundred and twentysomething years you still didn't know I loved you. I guess I'm glad that this spell moved things along. I don't think I could have waited another century."

The two sat staring at the empty space, neither sure of what to say. Spike was the one to break the silence once again. "So how does this work exactly? Never done the homosexual thing."

"Don't look at me. I was 150 years with Darla before moving into the sewers."

"Mate, I spent the past 100 years with Dru."

"So?"

"This is pathetic, Angel. You know what? We are just going to have to do it until we get it right."

And they started a long practice session (beyond closed doors).


End file.
